“I’m A Woman, The World Isn’t Mine After Dark”

It was around 6:30 or 6:40 PM when my phone rang.

“Khaha Ho beta; kitna time aur lagega,” my father’s voice came through. A question that automatically generates stress is that of arriving on time.

The sky wasn’t starting to dark yet, but my family started to get tense. This is why the world isn’t mine after dark.

In my previous job, I asked to leave early so I could get home on time because it took me 2.5 hours to reach home. When the clock turned to 5 PM, I sighed, stuffed my laptop into my bag, and started running toward the metro. I walked faster, hyper-aware of the surrounding eyes.

What I Saw at 9:30 PM

I clearly remember that night when I saw the road and the sky, and it was 9:30 PM. I had just got out of my house to get something from the main market.

Furthermore, I saw the road alive, I could feel the air differently at night. That buzz is still buzzing. Some of the shops are open, some are already closed, and some are going to close. And then I noticed something chilling.

“There were only men. No women around in that road.”

Boys are eating and chilling with their friends, men are going home, and groups are standing at street vendor’s shops. But not a single woman. Not. One. Women.

Then, the fear emerged, and I can still feel it in my veins; my heartbeat still runs fast thinking of that scenario. I wasn’t alone with my sister- I was an outsider in my colony, I was born and raised.

This wasn’t just about me or one night. This is about every time I get out of my house. Sometimes, it’s felt like the outside world is designed for men.

It hit me then: The night doesn’t belong to us.

They say home is the safest place for women, but is it? In Afghanistan, the Taliban rulers have imposed a ban on women speaking in public, stripping away their fundamental rights and silencing their voices.

According to a United Nations study issued on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, “almost 60 percent of all women who were intentionally killed in 2023” perished at the hands of their spouses or relatives. “The home is the most dangerous place for women and girls,” the report continued.

In India, our parents tell us, “beti paraya dhan hoti,”. Is that the home where a girl is raised, with the constant reminder that this home is not hers? Her husband’s home is her ultimate home, and her safety will depend on her husband. Where is she? And her choice?

This isn’t my story; this is the story of every woman, and every woman felt that once in their life.

I read that somewhere, and it still stuck with me because it was the same thing our family told us to be. When I read this, I can relate to myself.

What Happens When Fear Dictates Our Lives?

I turn 27 this January. I have big dreams. I want to build my life and make my own home, live my life without the fear of the clock, and travel the world. Instead, I live with fear and restrictions that men my age or even men of any age don’t even think about this. I have to make timetable when I should leave home and office and any place so, I can reach home safely, I miss a lot of workshops and learning opportunity because of that fear, I have to calculate my routes and attentive while walking on roads, send the lives locations to my family and friends. Always on call, so someone always stayed with me.

This is fear of female, that dictating the cost of my dream.

I want to learn self-defense and prepare for any situation, so when next time someone asks where I am or “jaldi ghar aa jaio,”. I want to ask them —

“Why the World Isn’t Mine After Dark..?”

Because all women deserve to feel safe. We need action. We need courage. To live and walk and say loud, that I deserve the world in bright day and after dark.

What’s your story?

The world is not a safe place for women. We know this from the moment we are told to cover up, be careful, and not walk alone at night.”